Thanks to Nicole for letting me say these things.

Nicole’s remarks in the little sidebar chat thingy on this blog, which may have disappeared by this time, where she says "The jokes are daddy’s, well I guess they are mine now." Got me to thinking about and remembering D.W. Hollingsworth.  He had a terrific sense of humor and published a daily joke e-mail called "Colorado Comments" that was full of old and new jokes that all had one thing in common; they were clean and they were funny.  Nicole has her dad’s quick wit and sense of humor among the many other things he put in her, and she is going to be sharing some of her favorite jokes and stories from "Colorado Comments" from time to time as she feels like it in my joke blog, http://herbshumor.blogdrive.com/.  In fact, it was his daily dose of humor that made me want to do it.

Not knowing who may read this entry I guess it is safe to say that you may not ever have heard of him, which is too bad for you because he was a really great guy.  He was always jovial and friendly, even after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.  He would be so weak and in so much pain toward the end, but he never quit putting out his newsletter and he never missed coming to church whenever the doors were open.  This was always his way, driving 35 - 40 miles in all manner of weather to make sure his family made it every service, even special revival services.  The times that they missed in the 16 years my family has gone to the First Pentecostal Church of Colorado Springs you could count on one hand.  In the end he could no longer drive and had to let his wife drive, but he loved God and he loved the Church so much that he had to go where he belonged.

Respected and liked by the other men in the church, toward the end they had to carry a recliner into the service since the regular pews were not made for the comfort of a cancer patient.  He could have stayed at home and listened to sermons on tape, of course, but it was important for him to be at church.  He could have possibly gone to church closer to home, but he was a loyal man.  Loyal to God and church and pastor.  When I was a scout leader one of the laws we tried to teach the boys was being loyal.  Here was a living, breathing example.  His body would be so exhausted and wracked with pain sometimes that he would occasionally doze off, but not too often because he didn’t want to miss anything.  Without disclosing his personal business I will tell you that he was a devoted family man and every thing he did, his reason for being, was his wife and kids.  He was quick to laugh, to smile, to forgive.

A heroic man to the very end.  When you watch someone who is genuinely sick, not just a sniffly cold; when you see a man make church attendance mandatory for himself; when you see a man who will sacrifice his personal comfort for the betterment and future care of his family; you see a hero.  Such a man was Brother David Hollingsworth.  The Scripture talks about different kinds of men, righteous men and good men, here was both a righteous man and a good man.  A good man that loved God, Church, Family and Country.

I had considered trying to write about the question of why such a good man would be taken and many lesser men, starting at myself, would be left, but it is something I don’t understand.  The Bible book of Ecclesiastes has the answer, but you have to read the whole book through as a sermon.  It is not exactly like the Proverbs, where you can pick out a verse or two and get wisdom, but rather you have to read it as a complete book, a complete sermon from beginning to end to really "get" Ecclesiastes.  Anyway, the answer is in there and far more eloquent and articulately written than I could ever hope to be.  Read what the Good Book says for yourself.

I found this floating around a couple of places and do not know who the author is.  I wish I had written it, but I didn’t.  If it belongs to you, I will give you either credit or take it down, whichever you request.  I found it on a humor page initially, but I thought it was a little too much for http://herbshumor.blogdrive.com/

Remember, as the Good Book says, Anger is a weapon only to one's opponent and get in the first shot!  Or was that Ti Kwan Leep?  Anyway, give 'em a boot to the head.

Profiling
To insure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former governors.

Let's pause a moment and take the following test.

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:

a. Olga Korbut
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzenegger
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:

a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered in his wheelchair and thrown overboard by:

a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:

a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from the train job
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

a. Mr. Rogers
b. AFOTEC action officers headed to a conference
c. The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless"
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were murdered by:

a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling!

Well, Tabitha, who's nickname is "Tab The Bad Cat," made it home after her adventure.  She and Sis. G. got to the airport and made it to Denver before they had any problems.  While they were in the air, with 4 dollars apiece, on the way to Colorado Springs the captain announced that they might be detoured to Grand Junction because of the weather!  They were pretty upset, but then it was decided they could come on, so they were just a half hour late here.  She learned the age-old truth, it’s nice to go away but it’s nice to come home again.

They had a less-than-favorable impression of the city of Fresno, but otherwise had a good time.  Overpriced hotel food, sleeping in a strange place, staying up late and getting up early, all make for a good convention time.  ;-)  My daughter and her other accomplices, (a bunch of young gals led by the notorious Ashley herself) who went to this conference to learn to be better Christians, broke curfew the last night and while they didn’t actually fib to the hall monitors, they did, er, misrepresent themselves a bit.  Apparently the chap asked their group as they were wandering the halls after the approved time, if they were all over 18 and one of them just answered him in a vague sort of affirmative for the whole group.  Of course, Tabitha’s idea of being bad and taking advantage of the situation was to stay up and talk until 3:30 in the morning with a bunch of girls, woo-hoo.  Naughty Kitty!

Where have I been?  Hmmm

Wednesday Tabitha and Sister G.’s plane was scheduled to take off from Colorado Springs airport at around 7 o’clock.  Getting there 2 hours ahead of time meant being there around 5.  Well, we decided that 5:30 might be okay.  This meant that to get to Sis. G.’s house  by 5 and allowing half an hour drive time, we had to leave our house at 4:30.  This meant getting Tabitha up at 4:00.  Since Margaret had client’s immediately after we dropped them off, she had to get up to go with.  Since she must have at least a few sips of coffee to even function, she had to get up around 3:30.  I, being the household alarm clock and coffee maker, had to get up at 3:00.  I am probably the only person in the world that this does not bother too much, but it was the beginning of a longer day than anybody expected.

The deal Sis G got was from a well-known, heartily advertised travel website.  Not the one advertised by William Shatner, though.  I may give out the name if they give us problems, but for now i won’t unless you e-mail me asking for it.  Anyway, it included roundtrip airfare, hotel and rental car and therein lies the tale.

They went from the Springs to Denver and had an expected layover for about 4 hrs waiting for a flight into Fresno.  Somehow they missed their connection.  That part of the story is still a mystery, but by missing the flight they then had to wait another 4 hrs and it started snowing and the flight was delayed in Denver and they finally left Denver around 8 that evening.  Needless to say, each time they called us they were more and more exhausted and frustrated and upset.  Fortunately they had borrowed a cell phone for the trip.  Sleeping in airports and bus depots is a skill that is not developed well by the casual traveler.  Ah, but at least they are on their way to Fresno now.

When they arrived at Fresno, the rental car clerk had dutifully and courteously waited for them to arrive.  The paperwork that they had said the car was to be picked up on Wednesday and returned on Saturday.  In the fine print of the agreement, however, only 2 of those days were pre-paid, and so they had to fork over money for 2 more days rental in order to effect their escape from the airport.  At least they had a hotel room reserved.

Oh, yes.  A hotel room in the slummiest part of the city.  Many disreputable types lounging about made them feel uncomfortable, but when a drunken brawl broke out in front of their door, they decided this was not a good place.  Sis G made the commendable (very reasonable) decision to move out of that hotel and find a different place to stay.  They moved to a room that one of the preachers had reserved for a party that had never showed up.  Well, that was nice.  But they still have 2 more nights in Fresno, Bro G is having a fun time trying to get a refund form the inexorable .com that sold them this deal and if they use the little cash they have left they will not have any food money.

Margaret calls the hotel and tries to pay for the remaining nights with her visa, only to discover that they cannot accept payment over the phone, does she have a fax?  Fortunately we do, so they fax us a form (this is a standard operating procedure with many hotel chains), we fill it out and fax it back, they lose it, we get a different number to fax it to, and Margaret calls again to make sure it really is taken care of, which it is.  Finally.  Hopefully.  This was all done in between Margaret’s clients!

By the way, the staff at the Radisson was very professional and helpful.

I have no idea what they have learned about God or the Bible or anything, but I know they have had a couple of small lessons from the school of hard knocks!

More news as it comes available, folks, so stay tuned.

And remember, as the Good Book says, "Life's hard, then ya die, so enjoy life while you can."

Well, fans, friends, fiends and foes, I have not been keeping up with this too consistently, which I do apologize for.  Sometimes life gets away and things distract you.  Anyway, I will try to do better and give you a good quality read more often.

Yesterday was Sunday, so of course I have Sunday School to talk about.  I love it and I love teaching the young folks for many different reasons, but one of the things I love is when you see that they "get" it.  Their little eyes light up and sparkle and you can almost see the little light bulb go on above their heads.

We talked about Acts 3:1 - 16, which is the story of the lame man who they carried daily to the temple and laid at the gate, called Beautiful.  I used Nicholas, who is one of our most energetic children and had him lay down at the front of the room.  Then I would pick him up, carry him over to the corner of the room, and ask him how much he had made in alms that day and how many people had kicked him out of the way.  I would carry him back, all the while explaining that since the man was over forty and had been born that way, he would have to always beg for whatever little scraps or whatever pence he could get.  I did contrast him with modern beggars who are often little more than charlatans with a piece of cardboard who prevent the people who really need help from getting any.  This also helped explain why people were mean to beggars, etc.  No, I don’t dwell on such things, but the distinction between the truly needy and the faker is an important one to make since 6 & 7 year olds are beginning to understand what compassion is.

Well, as Peter and John were going to the temple one day shortly after the initial outpouring of the spirit on Pentecost they saw this man.  This was Zach and Micah, a couple more of my energetic bunch.  They have grown up around the church and Bible stories and church kids can come in handy to use for illustrations like this.  Their peers watch closely to make sure the story goes right or to see what is going to happen next.  Well, Peter and John told the man to look at them and he expected to receive some kind of alms, or assistance.  Peter (Zach) said, I don’t have any money, but I have something else and he took him by the hand and said "In the name of Jesus, get up and walk!"  Well, Nicholas jumped up just like the man in the Bible and skipped around the room, using up a small portion of his energy stores.

Then I went on to tell them that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever and the way he healed people when he physically walked the earth and how he healed the man at the gate Beautiful through his disciples he can heal them.  I told them a story of my own.  I will tell it to you in full, here, but when I told them, I abbreviated it because I did not want them to get confused.  It is actually a story my Aunt Gertie used to tell because she wanted me to always know what had happened.

When I was born I had something wrong with my legs.  My mom can’t recall the details any more but does remember that it made me me very difficult to change.  I would scream when they did it, and my Aunt Gertie would help my mom a lot.  One day she was watching Oral Roberts on T.V. and listening to him preach about faith and healing.  When he finished he said that if anyone on the audience at home needed healing   they should touch their T.V. set and pray along with him.  My aunt did this and whenever she told this her eyes would well up with tears, she said that when she got to the end of the prayer and said, "In Jesus name, amen" that as she was saying "Jesus" the leg straightened right out in her hand while she stood there.  I would make her tell it over and over again because it gave me goose bumps every time she told it.  So, contrary to what anyone may say, supernatural healing does exist in our day and age and is available to anyone who believes God.  When will God heal someone?  It can happen instantly, but sometimes there is a purpose that God has in waiting.  It seems likely to me that the man in the story had to have been at the temple the many times that Jesus had gone in, why hadn’t Jesus himself healed the man?  Perhaps because there was a greater glory to be had or perhaps the man would not have been ready for such a miracle to happen to him.

When I tell it to kids I just tell them that when she heard the preacher telling her that God can do anything and that when she prayed along with the preacher it was at the name of Jesus that the leg straightened out.  This fits in with the frame of reference that most of my kids have and is true.  I use that example because they can see me standing there when the doctor told my mom I would not be.  I could tell many other stories of modern healing and protection.  One example would be when Margaret was healed of Epilepsy as a child and did not need medication anymore.  Or Tabitha, who had major hearing loss problems and was never going to be able to hear or speak properly or Sister Johnson, who had been diagnosed with cancer and has a letter from a doctor saying that, (actual quote) a notable miracle has occurred.  The easiest example for kids to understand sometimes, however, is the one they can see.

Anyway, if you are looking for some exciting reading, the book of Acts is full of the exploits of the apostles, all of which are examples of what God will do if humans will let him.

As the good book says, "Who is like unto God?"

Greetings blogophiles,

Sorry i haven’t been keeping you as up-to-date as i should.  It has been busy around here these last few days.  Thanks to God for helping President Bush and thanks to the American people for getting out and voting in record numbers.  Carter e-mailed me the county-by-county map from this year from www.newsmax.com and it is even more red than last time.

Well, there was some sadness at our house.  Abby’s birds died.  First, Blue Sky, who was around 8 (which is old for a parakeet) developed what appeared to be a tumor and died.  When they took him out of the cage, Rainbow started freaking out and screeching going nuts.  Tabitha took Rainbow out, held him, and tried to calm him down, but he just kept trying to bite her.  When he stopped it was because he had died too.  Abby was sad.  Even though she had been through this before, and she knew the old one was sick, it was still a loss.

So, off we went to PetSmart and looked at birds, but none really had an outstanding personality or coloring so we went to Pet City at Citadel Mall and this one pretty white one just kept looking at Abby and would follow Tabitha’s finger on the glass and there was another one that was really feisty as well.  So now we have Professor Clear Water, who is mostly white with a bright blue patch on his back and one whose tentative name is Majestic Mountain, but I am calling the old curmudgeon.  He has more of a grayish color and while the white one wants to sit on your finger or walk around on your shoulder, he wants to bite at you and doesn’t seem as playful.  He likes to sing, though.

We had just returned from going with Ben and Isabel to pick out a crib. They picked out one that can be changed into a toddler bed then a regular bed as time goes by.  Grandma bought them a nice bedroom set for the baby with Baby Snoopy, and his sister Belle and a couple of his other brothers.  She is due February 11 so she is getting stuff ready now.  She is hoping for January 28 as that is her mom and dad’s anniversary but i am (secretly, don’t tell them, even though they read this once in a while) hoping for February 6, which is my birthday.

Sorry I haven’t kept up with this, but just so you guys all know, I am working on a couple of projects and a couple of pieces for posting on here, i just haven’t gotten to finishing anything yet.

Yesterday afternoon Ben and Isabel came over.  Isabel is a photographer as well as a CNA.  Fortunately, for us all she doesn’t combine the two careers.  Anyway, she came over and took Abigail to take a bunch of pictures down at Fountain Creek.  It’s a little "greenbelt" area that is wooded and provides a lot of outdoor background.  There are deer and other wild animals and it is all "in town."  Abigail is by far and away the most photogenic of our family, not shying away from the camera but rather enjoying it.  She is more comfortable with being beautiful than the other girls and has been known to be something of a class clown and a ham on occasion.  (I don’t know where she could have picked that up.)

Ben and I talked and cleaned the bunny cage, well I cleaned the cage, Ben observed.  So, i guess now i will have to retract my statement from yesterday about never getting to see them.  The baby is moving around and kicking and just generally squirrelly as babies are wont to be.

We went to the store and when we came back, the pictures were done.  They went and had them developed at a 1 hour place and they came out beautifully.  I wish I could show them to you but i don’t want to pay for the web space at this site and haven’t really got a good free spot to make one at.  I am thinking I may use a geocities site for photos if i keep this up.  I do have a web page at http://herbshome.0catch.com/ but it doesn’t have any photos or family stuff on it and is full of pop-ups.  I’m proud of it because i wrote all the HTML code myself, but I haven’t updated it recently.  It doesn’t even have a guest book, but you can e-mail me and tell me what you think.

The only other problem with doing a photo/family website is the time it takes to scan in pictures.  I still might, I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll wait and see if there is a clamoring cry from my vast audience of all 7 or 8 of you that read this.  Actually i don’t know how many hits i get because i don’t want to pay for anything.  Free is cheap and cheap is good.

Oh horrors!  It was just pointed out to me that on my humor blog page, http://herbshumor.blogdrive.com/ i have used the same joke 2 days in a row.  I guess i better go back and delete one.  It’s really funny that i did that because i have all of these folders set up to put the stuff i use and am gonna use in and i must have been suffering from Encephaloflatulence.  Oh, like you never have.

Anyway, remember, as the Good Book says, "Money grows wings like an eagle and flies away!"

Greeting and felicitous salutations, ‘blog fans.  I don’t know if I have enough to fill an entry.  My idea pump seems to be jammed.  Well, actually, I have several good ideas and suggestions, but I just don’t feel like working on them.  I know you come here for news and to see what’s going on and read what I have to say, so maybe I will just sort of ramble until I get to where I want to go.

Hmmm, Tabitha, my middle daughter, is going to West Coast Conference with one of the women from our church.  This will be her second time out to California, but her first at something like this.  She’s pretty excited.  She is using her own money to finance the trip completely.  She has a part-time job in a Vet’s office as what I describe as an "Animal CNA."  She helps with surgeries, anesthesia, cleaning cages and walking dogs.  She started out as a volunteer and they liked the way she works so much that they put her on the payroll.  The money she doesn’t spend on books or her porcelain doll collection or going out to eat with the young people, she puts in the bank.  She must get her frugality from her mom, but at any rate she had this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity come up and she is going to take it.

Okay, what is with the comics?!?!?  I just read where Doonesbury is going to use the "f" word.  A number of papers are not running the strip, but if you want to see it you can go to the newspaper’s office.  You know, as I said before, move all of the blatantly political comics to the Op-Ed section.  I think the funnies should be funny.  There is so much innuendo in so many of them it is almost to the place that parents ought to pre-read the comics before letting their kids look at them.  Oh, don’t even bother with your self-righteous, "what about the First Amendment and censorship and all that other hand-wringing claptrap?"  Well, I say, what about common decency, courtesy and just plain nice manners?  They can say what they want and so can I.  It is time that all of us, myself included, started showing that we do care.

Let’s see, what else is news?  Elizabeth’s friend from college has been coming to church the last several services and seems to be enjoying himself.  She is working very hard and doing something that has not been done in this family before.

Abigail is off being grounded so the phone lines around the country will start heating up once again.  We have this deal through Qwest that you pay five cents a minute up to a cap of twenty dollars.  This month’s phone bill didn’t even have all the minutes used up!  She calls all of the friends she met at Heritage Conference and any of the relatives that want to talk.  She is the friendly one in this bunch.

It’s sometimes hard to know what’s going on with Ben and Isabel and the baby because they run with a different gang than us and are always so tired out from work that they have a hard time making it to all of the scheduled church services there are.  They do make it to Sunday morning, but I am usually preoccupied with Sunday School and getting it together that I can’t take advantage of that time.  I tried foregoing my Sunday nap, but then I just sit on the couch and fall asleep while everyone is talking, anyway.  Perhaps we just need to pray about his job situation so it will be easier for him to make it to church on other nights as well.

The critters have all been pretty well-behaved, so I guess this is about the end.

Remember, as the good book says, "Never spit in the air or it will land in your face."

When I was growing up and even to this day when I am around certain relatives and people who have known me since I was young, and some elderly folks, I bore the moniker, "Little Herbie."  Man, I hated that.  I hated to be called Herbert, too, because there was NObody even close to my age that had a name like Herbert!  What were my parents thinking to name me Herbert and allow people to call me "Little Herbie?"

Okay, now that the giggling, laughing, chortling, chuckling snorting and outright guffawing have simmered down I will tell you.

My dad used to talk about his brother all the time.  He often tells the story of how, when he was a little boy, growing up on the farm with 11 brothers and sisters, his older brother, Herbie, bought him a train set for Christmas.  In the 1930s, times were tough, you did not have a lot of money, and you did not get many "things."  You had to use your imagination to play games, there was no Nintendo, no TV and you might get to listen to the radio if you finished your chores and didn’t have something more fun to do.  My dad cherished the toy train and valued it so much, that when other kids would come over to visit, he would put it away in his closet so they wouldn’t see it and possibly wreck it.  He cherished his brother even more.  His brother was a hero to him as well.

My dad wanted to sign up for WWII, but his hearing was bad and he was a little young and they wouldn’t take him.  My German grandfather wanted to fight, but the Army told him, as politely as they could, that he probably needed to be home with all those kids.  That’s when my uncle volunteered.  He went down and signed up and the whole family, the whole town, really, was very proud of him.  It appears from what little I know of it that Herbie was a popular fellow in the town of Saukville, WI and he was a hero before he even did anything.  That was how it was in WWII and how small towns were and are.  The town’s American Legion post, Landt-Thiel post #470, is partly named after him.

A new guided missile technology used by the Germans made a deadly hit on the boat and killed over a thousand troops (1015) and the government feared there would be panic if the news got out that the Germans had this rocket-powered technology.  This was almost as many American troops dead as Pearl Harbor, but while the USS Arizona and the USS Indianapolis were becoming household words, the poorly manned, British-owned, Indian operated HMT Rohna, was being swept under the carpet.  The maritime disaster of the HMT Rohna was not covered by the news at the time and actually appears to have been suppressed by the government.

There were many heroic deeds done that day and my dad still chokes up after all these years every time we talk about his brother, but there is one thing he points out with every telling.  My uncle wanted to do the right thing.  He knew joining the military and serving his country was the right thing for him to do, but he also had a secret.  He told my dad that he would go and do what he had to do, of course, but he really did not want to kill anyone and had prayed he wouldn’t have to.  His prayer was answered.

The link I am putting in this story, which I hope will work, is to a web page about my dad’s hero, http://marsss0.tripod.com/rohna.html  The link to the creator’s e-mail is broken, but I am thinking it was done by one of the many cousins I have not stayed in touch with.

Here is the link to the page about the disaster itself http://www.rohna.org/

I hope the links comes through as such and you don’t have to "Cut & Paste" to see it, but even so, I think it’s worth it.

So, anyway, I have learned that I have a name to be proud of and when my Grandmother and aunts and uncles would call me "Little Herbie" it was an honor I didn’t understand.  And no, don’t you even try it, because I might find some way to "honor" you.

Remember, as the Good Book says, "If you pay an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth the world will be full of toothless blind people."

Greetings Blog Fans,

Sorry I haven’t done anything new for a couple of days.  I guess I am in something of a slump.  Yesterday I slept in until 5:00 and Sunday I stayed in bed until 6:00!  Sunday I had kind of an excuse, though.  Saturday night we (my family plus Ashley) stayed up past one working on a fruit basket mobile for Sunday School.  This may not sound like a lot of work to do but when you have to make enough for 30 kids it takes a while.  They liked them, though.  We had little paper bowls that we punched holes in and then pasted the fruits onto old manila envelopes and tied strings to them and knotted them together.  The kids had to color them and tie the strings to the baskets.  It should have been done sooner but you know people’s schedules often reflect the fact that they are human.  It was a lot of fun.

It was our monthly "Homespun" class where our pastor’s wife takes all of the married couples and has classes on a variety of subjects.  The unfortunate thing for our class is that we are directly above them so when we sing, "Father Abraham" or "I am the Lord’s cowhand, yeehaw!" or "I’m in the Lord’s Army" we tend to be a little disruptive.  Anyway, on these days I am back in my old role as head teacher and I wind up working with someone from the "College and Careers Class" and whoever else they can draft.  Not just any old body can be a Sunday School teacher, either.  Of course I am responsible for everything that happens or doesn’t happen.

We sang "He’s a peach of a Savior" and a few other songs then Ashley read them a short story from Bill Bennett’s "Book of Virtues" about a boy whose "please" didn’t get enough exercise in his mouth.  Great story.  I had this empty basket and a bag full of fruit I had labeled with the names of the 9 fruits, Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, and Temperance.  Well, kids like visual things.  They learn better the more of their senses that you involve.  So seeing, smelling, tasting, the fruit made the lesson more tactile and 3-dimensional.

I made Longsuffering a lemon and told about how my Grandma had taught me to make lemonade.  Many of them had similar experiences, which they shared. Six and seven year olds have a lot to share.  Actually that part of the lesson was for me.

Okay.  I can still pop my cheek and am a little kid myself.  That’s why they like me and talk to me and why I get in trouble sometimes.  Kids have to see what’s going on so they all scramble to the front of the room, which makes a bunch of noise downstairs.  While this was going on one of the little girls fell down.  A child who is occasionally dramatic and needed comforting from one of the teachers while I went on with the lesson.  Well, the little girl falling distracted me and my rhythm was off, so when i reached into the bag and pulled out the Apple of Goodness it slipped out of my hand, flew across the roomful of kids, which started them screaming and clonked a boy in the front row right on the head.  Well, we were all laughing together out loud when the door was opened and an usher walked in and said we were making too much noise.  Here was an opportunity to show firsthand what "Meekness" is.

We all settled down, went on to make the craft at the end, which the kids thought made much cooler hats than mobiles, and had "Fruit Cocktail" for a snack.

When I get done with Sunday School I go home and crash.  It is exhausting and I do not see how schoolteachers do it.  While I am not a fan of the public school system, I do think the teachers are often vilified for things they have no control over.  Obviously with any job or any group of people, you will always have lemons and clunkers, but I believe that most schoolteachers are sincere, honest people who do an incredible amount of work for very little pay, especially if you add up not only the hours worked in the classroom, but the preparation time and everything else.  Usually it is a school board or a principal or the Teacher’s Union that is behind the problem.  Those things and parents who are uninvolved and unconcerned and uninterested, until little Herkimer comes home with a bad report card which must be the teacher’s fault even though nobody ever made Herky do his homework or talked with him about what he was learning or anything else.

So anyway, teach your kids their Memory Verse for Sunday School and talk to them about their homework and remember, as the good book says, "If you’re having a bad hair day, put a wig on it and smile anyways."